Radioactive.

So, autumn/winter is upon us, and has most definitely set in. I do love this time of year (minus the rain). I've never been a great fan of hot weather- I much prefer the clothing at this time of year too, all the cardies, boots, scarves etc. I think though, winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone for hours, but alas I can't foresee that happening this year.

It's about this time of year where I spend far too long listening to music. One night last week I downloaded about 60 songs, by a selection of artists: Kings Of Leon; The Script; Maroon 5 (all of those were their new albums); Bruno Mars; Tinie Tempah; Beyonce; My Chemical Romance; Gavin DeGraw... and some more. All of them are very different and I've noticed how my taste in music has slowly broadened. About two years ago you wouldn't have caught me dead listening to the likes of Tinie Tempah or Beyonce, let alone me admitting to liking them, but now I really like both of them, maybe I'm becoming a more "rounded individual"? Pah. But anyway, music has taken over on many of these cold evenings.

On another note, I'm becoming accustomed to the idea that I am really terrible at life. What I mean by this is how I tend to bodge so many things up without meaning to, or how no matter how much I try it never seems to be enough. I just feel like such an idiot most of the time. Feeling like you're regressing to a person that you were about 2/3 years ago that you hated does worry me somewhat. I genuinely fear that I will return to the times when I felt that I didn't belong, that no-one cared and that I had no sense of self-worth, which is silly because I know that I have friends who do love and care for me, but I can't quite put my finger on why I'm going backwards. I will write a more positive, happy blog post soon, I promise...

Really, I cannot wait for university (fingers crossed if I get there)...