Six Feet Under The Stars.

I am distinctly aware that I'm falling back into the same rutt that enveloped me so greatly a year ago. I need to stop putting off the inevitable, this mainly being the looming January exams. The annoying thing is that I've been here before, this time 12 months ago I was doing the bare minimum of work, and thought that it'd all be okay in the end. That somehow I would do fantastically in my exams and it would all be great. But alas, I know what happened, I know that come when I got my results I was less than happy to say the least. I promised myself that I would not let this happen again, but for some reason I just can't seem to stop myself from seemingly constant procrastination. (I probably shouldn't even be wasting my time writing this I hear you say, and to that I entirely agree). I don't know what was different for the summer exams which I did pretty well in, other than that perhaps I was spurred on by rejection and heartbreak, that I wanted to prove something to someone, although I still don't know who that person was. Maybe it was actually to myself. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I could succeed in things, I could prove to myself that I was worth something. This time round, however, I can see myself spiralling down a broken set of rickety stairs, glaring failure straight in the eyes. Don't get me wrong, of course I don't want this to become a reality, but unless something, or that unknown someone spurs me forward into achieving something, then I may have to walk myself down that staircase and accept failure, look it in the face, take its hand and let it lead me back to somewhere I really do not want to venture to...