You And Me Are Gone.

Well, here goes an attempt to write about my week... So, where shall I start? I will do this thematically rather than chronologically as I geniunely can't remember what happened on what days!

• I've done lots of jogging this week. Had our second jogging sesh with Jenna & Asya, then decided that I should try to do it more than once a week, so yesterday I went on my own for a little jog. Nothing much, worked out that it was about 1.5miles, but even if I barely worked off a Twirl bar, I feel like I'm trying to do something to improve my health and wellbeing. It is really envigorating and you do feel refreshed and like you've achieved something when you get back, although my legs currently wouldn't agree with you! So much so that I went on the same route this evening. Maybe it will become a daily thing that I do, to release all the stress thats filled my day and clear my head. And you never know, I might also lose some weight, which would be lovely.


• The past week has involved alot of worrying about exams, and attempting to revise in a blind panic after realising that all that time I had and the "oh, my exams are ages away" has disappeared and my English exam is next week on Wednesday, and my Geography exam is a week on Monday. Saying that, I'm still not revising, not properly. And I know I'll regret it blahblahblah (I believe I've even written a blog post about it previously) but depression is a wierd thing, makes you not have the physical or mental capability to do tasks that you so greatly want to do. - the jogging is an activity that I've set as a goal to achieve every week. But anyway, I really hope that the work that I have done pays off- I know Hamlet like the back of my hand (AmyF and I read the whole play in a day this week! The Brydenator officially loves us). If I have to see another transcript in my life after this exam, I will hit something. Likewise, I never want to hear about regeneration in Belfast ever again after the 1st of February.


• I've been in a wierd mood all week. It has fluctuated between very humourous and quirky to reserved and thoughful. Very thoughtful. I haven't felt like me, I can't quite describe it, but I feel kinda like I've walked round sixth form all week in a blur, listening to people, taking part in conversation and in work, but not taken any of it in. Something's changed in me, and I don't like it. Even my mum has said to me that she's concerned as I've "changed" and do not seem like myself. I don't know what's changed, which believe me is ridiculously annoying, but I'd quite like the me I like, well, put up with, back.


• I haven't been sleeping well, which probably negatively effects all of the aforementioned. I just end up lying there, thoughts whirring round in my mind, that I cannot quite collate to make perfect sense. How am I supposed to solve the unresolved? That sentence refers to so many aspects right now, I could go on for far too long about them all, but I won't as you may want to bash your head against your desk whilst reading this.

I am fine, by the way. Well, at least I think I am. I have some people that I cherish and adore around me, which helps an awful lot, but something just isn't right. Something has been shaken inside me and has not been able to subside. I don't like it, but what can I do about it? Stop wallowing in self-pity you're probably thinking: I don't blame you, that's exactly what I tell myself on a daily basis, but it's never that easy, is it? -To forget.

ps- picture is of My Chemical Romance. I'd forgotten how much I loved them. I think there'll always be a place in my heart for Mr Gerard Way ;)